Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Another Kind Of Fire by Edie Carey: I like to extinguish fires by pissing on them. Plus, I avoid drinking fluids so my pee is thick and dark yellow. Did I mention I've also got blood in my urine?

Most Imperfect Skies by Don't Die Cindy: I used to hate you for your awful band name alone, but now thanks to your dumb-fuck album titles, I have a whole new layer of froth forming in my mouth.

The Makings Of Me by Monica: Judging by your provacative album cover, you have all the makings of a topless turd. A turd which is also a giant 'ho. Henceforth, you will answer to the name 'Ho Turd.

Lovers Requiem by I Am Ghost: You're the creepy, scary goth ghost of my nighmares, and when you sing "Pretty People Never Lie, Vampires Really Never Die", I thank Lucifer you're a ghost instead of a vampire, because I want assurance that you will die. Very, very soon. Like, yesterday.

Still Searching by Senses Fail: Congratulations! You've scored a 10-point field goal in the Soccer Game of Suck.

Vultures by Smile Empty Soul: The sound of choking on one's own vomit, for an entire album. It gets worse: it's a concept album.

One More Drifter In The Snow by Aimee Mann: Let's hope nobody sends out a rescue team.

We Couldn't Think Of A Title by Psychostick: Although they're as entertaining as Open Mic Night at Catch A Rising Star, I couldn't think of an insult more hurtful than this: They're from Phoenix.

I Love You by Diana Ross: Hell hath no fury like a woman with a botched face tuck, especially when her last hit was during the Mesozoic Era.

I Don't Care Where I Go When I Die by Gaza: With song titles like "Pork Finder", "Slutmaker" and "Hospital Fat Bags", I think it's safe to say nobody else cares where you go when you die, either.

Smile...It Confuses People by Sandi Thom: Does Ms. Thom have to pay Hot Topic royalties when she cribs her album titles off those half-inch buttons with wacky phrases they sell? Youth wants to know!

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