Monday, May 21, 2012

The Perfection of Art is to Conceal Art. [And, Sometimes, Talent.]

Album Covers Which Somehow Escaped Being Added to the Permanent Collection at The Museum of Bad Art (click on the images to embiggen the lulz.)













Disco:Very Translates His Own Press Release Touting Free Give Away of Remastered Release of Disco:Very 2001

On May 24th, 2012, world-renowned music blog Disco:Very will reissue the acclaimed Disco:Very 2001 year-end compilation, which was originally given away to a small number of friends and family in December 2001.

[In this case, "world-renowed" means weird sections of the American midwest and two readers in Ireland, and "acclaimed" means "some people actually kept their CD's for a year before tossing them in the garbage".


"There is not a week that goes by without some fan of my current CD's asking if I will ever reissue the earlier comps", said Disco:Very CEO, Disco:Very. "The time felt right to remind the public why we are at the forefront of custom-made CD compilations given out free-of-charge on an annual basis." 

[How very edgy: still working in a media format less popular than the wax cylinder.]


As it has done for the past 12 years, blog readers are instructed to send their name and address to Disco:Very's e-mail address whereupon a CD will be immediately mailed to the requester.  Because Disco:Very respects its readers privacy, fake names are allowed in each request as long as the address is real.

[The validity of claims to privacy cannot be verified, so keep your soiled underwear locked up just to be sure.]


Longtime readers of Disco:Very and newbies alike will find much to like in this nostalgic trip from 2001, including artists familiar (The Magnetic Fields, Jurassic 5, Sigur Ros) and some off the beaten path (Zero Zero, Marvin Pontiac, Zoot Woman.)

[Anyone in the internet age who still can't stumble upon the music of Radiohead on their own must be some kind of specialized idiot. ]


The audio and cover art has been redesigned and remastered from top to bottom, so even if you already own an original Disco:Very 2001 CD, you should consider adding this newer edition to your collection for its crisp remastering and bold minimalist graphics.

[The original artwork from 2001 was so hideous, it was best to throw it all away and stick to the design of the last few years just to play it safe.]


Disco:Very is a music blog publishing since 2005 where it made a name for itself as an incisive, inflammatory blog of opinion, reviews and music links.

[In other words, just like every other music blog clogging cyberspace, but the author of this one doesn't know the meaning of the words "Give it up, already".]

Thursday, May 03, 2012

Let's Deciper the Lyrics to "Eveningness", the Best Track on the New Album by Lotus Plaza

[INSTRUCTIONS: PLAY SONG ON REPEAT FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER]

Looking at my purse and not at you
I deathly need the rest of the tofu
Three’s a Crowd and Moopy and a foot
Chains smoking the drag and it’s a pain

[CHORUS]
I wouldn’t wear it again
And my waist is eveningness
I wouldn’t give it again
And my peas are eveningness
I wouldn’t have it again
And my pace is eveningness
I wouldn’t go it again
And my face is eveningness

Romper Room and gulls that pull it down
Shaggy mom and moves it to its head
Labor love and shadows aren’t that deep
I see them now and don’t want the bar keep

And now that I’ve seen how they change
I know the way you’d have it the same
My game is too pooped to change

CHORUS

[The most transcendent yet subtle musical interlude ever composed.]

[REPEAT FIRST VERSE]

[CONTINUE PLAYING SONG UNTIL YOU GET SICK OF IT, WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN, EVER]