Monday, September 17, 2007

My Precious Feelings on the 34th Annual Telluride Film Festival

Number of Minutes It Took To Spot Ken Burns After Arriving in Town: 10 minutes

Age of Ken Burns' Hair Style: 12 years old

Age of Ken Burns: 54 years old

Best Gossip About Ken Burns Circulating Around the Festival: After attending the sneak preview of Brian de Palma's new anti-Iraq War flick Redacted, Burns was reportedly openly vocal over its simplistic one-dimensional viewpoint. Me-e-ow! Do I hear a cat fight?

What I Did Upon Spotting Sean Penn Walking Down the Street: Got him into a head lock, forced him to reenact All The King's Men from start to finish, only this time make it worth watching.

Best Post-Screening Moment: Hanging with campy/quirky filmmaker George Kuchar after his early short films were exhibited in a two-part tribute screening.

Celebrities Reportedly Walking Around, None of Whom I Spotted: Talented director Julian Schnabel (showing his new film The Bell & The Butterfly, which I thoroughly enjoyed), Todd Haynes (screening his latest I'm Not There, the Bob Dylan bio pic starring a host of stars portraying Dylan's various personalities), Daniel Day Lewis (who was receiving a special award) and Robin Wright Penn. If I had spotted her, I would have forced her into a head lock and made her watch me reenact Forrest Gump from beginning to end, just so she can suffer through it the same way I did.

The Film Which Brought About the Quietest Exit of an Audience Leaving the Theatre: The gritty, gripping Romanian film 4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days.

The Film Which Brought About the Most Confused Audience Reaction: The wonderful 1969 film Dilligner Is Dead, directed by Marco Ferreri. Most of the responses I heard were along the lines of "...but nothing happened!"

Three Films Which Enthralled Me From Start To Finish: The Finnish melodrama The Way You Wanted Me, a UK docu/drama Millions Like Us and the sublime silent film from Germany People On Sunday.

Why, Oh Why Did I Miss: King Vidor's silent epic The Big Parade? It kept playing opposite other films I was already compelled to see, and now the magic has passed...I hate me.

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