The Baffling Music I Listened To In The Days Of My Sappy Youth (Before I Discovered Punk Rock and Everything Changed For The Better) (Part 3)
Back in the early punk years, there was nothing more hilarious than the sight of a dinosaur prog act clawing desperately at relevance by cutting their hair, sporting skinny ties and attempting to write more concise, less grandiose rock opera concept albums. Funnier still, picture Yes convincing themselves that lyrics about winged horses and "dancing with the spirits of the age" would be perfect fodder for their 1978 LP Tormato, believing it would resonate with the angry youth culture of the era. For reasons I'm still working out via weekly shock therapy treatments, I somehow convinced myself I needed this album. Imagine the pimply teen Disco:Very getting misty eyed over the mawkish spoken-word finale to Circus of Heaven ("No candy floss, taffy apple...no clowns..."), fist raised aloft in solidarity with the Animal Rights anthem Don't Kill the Whale. I was never a believer in space aliens, so why my befuddled attraction to Arriving UFO? And while Release, Release is somewhat (ahem)...punky in places, it also veers off into the band's standard mode of virtuoso whack off. Eventually, much better music wrestled my tastebuds to the ground, but I sometimes still think back to this vinyl skeleton in my closet and flog myself to sleep as punishment for the sins committed to the ears, the very ears now retaliating by slowly diminishing my ability to hear properly. Parasitic bastards. Let's see how well they survive on their own when I have them removed next year.