Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The Disappointment Only a Father Could Feel For His Worthless Wayward Children
1. You encouraged Leslie Hall to channel her inner Roches (but at least she possesses a much better fashion sense).
2. You catipulted Santogold into the charts simply for emulating M.I.A. when, in reality, she is also guilty of copying Gwen Stefani, The Breeders and Gwen Stefani.
3. You sanctioned Alec Empire as he morphed into Gary Numan without the sense of humor.
4. You replaced Stereolab with Monade and nobody has yet detected the switch.
5. You decided that since The Kinks and Green Day have not delivered any recent product, it would be fine for the Foxboro Hot Tubs to fill in during their absence.
6. I do feel pride, however, over how you continue to pick cartoon-like political figures to run for public office, giving me more practice to enhance and strengthen my burgeoning alcoholism: I drink a shot of tequila every time Sarah Palin has another baby.