Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Disco:Very Celebrates Record Store Day [By Being a Nuisance] - Part 4

Store Clerk: [Name of record store].
Disco:Very: Hi, I'm calling to see about a title you might have in stock.
Store Clerk: OK, who's the artist?
Disco:Very: The band is Chicago, and it's a special Record Store Day reissue of one of their albums, but I don't know the title.
Store Clerk: That's OK, give me a sec and I can look that up.
Disco:Very: I wasn't able to come in on Record Store Day so now I'm worried you might not have any left. It's a limited-edition reissue.
Store Clerk: Well, I'm looking through our list of Record Store Day releases and I don't see anything by Chicago on here...
Disco:Very: I'm sure I'd remember the title if you just ran through a few of them you have listed in your database.
Store Clerk: [Pause, realizing this is going to be a laborious phone call] Well, they have a lot of titles here...I'm looking at them and they're all numbers, or mostly, you know, Roman Numerals.
Disco:Very: Could you maybe just run a couple past me? I'm sure the one I'm thinking of will ring a bell.
Store Clerk: [Long pause.] Well, I mean, there's "Roman Numeral Three"--these are all in Roman Numerals--there's "Roman Numeral Seven"...I think there was probably a "Four", "Five" and "Six" but I'm just reading you what we have in stock.
Disco:Very: Those don't ring a bell. Could you read the rest?
Store Clerk: [Pause, annoyed sigh.] Uh, "Roman Numeral Seven"--
Disco:Very: No...
Store Clerk: "Roman Numeral Eight"--
Disco:Very: No...
Store Clerk: "Roman Numeral Nine"--
Disco:Very: No...
Store Clerk: "Roman Numeral Ten"--
Disco:Very: Wait, which one did you say??
Store Clerk: "Roman Numeral Ten".
Disco:Very: [Long pause.] Hmmmm...no...
Store Clerk: [Annoyed grunt.] They're all pretty much Roman Numerals, and there's like 30 of them or...it goes up all the way to 32 or 34 so it doesn't make much sense for me to keep reading them. Just...you know, do you remember the number or not?
Disco:Very: Did you say "Roman Numeral 34"?
Store Clerk: Yes, that's the last one in succession. It might not be the latest reissue but--
Disco:Very: Yeah, yes. That's the one. That's the one which got a special reissue, I'm almost certain.
Store Clerk: [Becoming increasingly annoyed.] Well, I'm not seeing a special reissue of this, I don't see a reissue on my regular database and it's not in the Record Store Day releases either.
Disco:Very: Oh, well, I forgot to mention that it's going to be under a completely different title. For this special edition reissued on Record Store Day, instead of using Roman Numerals, they've used Egyptian Numerals so the name of the album should read "Upside Down U, Upside Down U, Upside Down U, Stroke, Stroke, Stroke, Stroke."
Store Clerk: [Long pause, which goes on so long I'm afraid I will start laughing.] Fuck. You. [Hangs up.]

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