Thursday, March 26, 2009

An Open Letter To Matt Price of Paste Magazine, Who Wrote an Open Letter Almost Exactly Like My Own Previous Open Letter From Two Years Ago

How I envy you. In a remarkable show of journalistic chutzpah, you have discovered a quick and painless way to slam-dunk your latest article into your editor's deadline basket by simply mirroring the concept you stumbled upon in one of my earlier postings from almost two years ago. Matt Price, you are nothing if not resourceful (and sneaky). I also applaud Paste Magazine--read by rock culture fans across the globe for meticulous articles on all things Iron & Wine--for being lucky enough to land the rare music writer who happens to enjoy both Wilco and The Arcade Fire. I urge you to check my blog often, Matt Price. I'm sure you'll find more than a few of my psychotic rants which can easily be tempered into advertiser-friendly articles upon which your own name may safely reside.


schonmearfee said...

You're mad? Imagine my rage. You see, I am that sweaty, pony-tailed Lothario mentioned in both pieces. Jesus, here I am just trying to get a little nookie(and believe me, when I say little, I mean little - have you been to a Wilco show?) and you and Lester Bangs Jr. see fit to expose my love-making secrets to the masses. Do you realize what could happen if my methods fell into the wrong hands? God god gentlemen, there'd be a population 'splosion not seen since the Artist Formerly Known As was spitting out platter after platter of vinyl hump-bait in the 80's. I actually kinda like you Mr. Colonvery (if that is your real name) but as for Senor Douche over at Paste, all I do is quote that old saying - "When you plagiarize, you make a flaming asshole out of yourself." Do us all a favor, march down to the store, buy a box of Faber #2's, sharpen 'em up real good and jam them in your fucking temple. Just don't use them to write with.

Disco:Very said...

All I know is, I'm going to keep my eye on Paste Magazine from now on. The minute I see them trying to pass off one of my year-end CD comps as one of their own, I'm phoning my lawyer.