Thursday, May 29, 2008

It's the End of the Bush Administration As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) (Even After Using an R.E.M. Quote Despite Railing Against Them So Much)

Please don't even begin to express your shock--outrage and shock!--over the allegations in defrocked doughboy Scott McClellan's bitch-and-tell bestseller. Did you really think Bush wasn't at all the world's biggest fuck-pig liar about his motives for the Iraq war? Were you really in the dark about Cheney's obvious involvement--practically tattooed on his forehead!--with the Valerie Plame leak? Next thing I know, you'll be telling me you weren't expecting the latest album by The Oh Sees to be dripping with reverb and thunderous pounding rhythms. Was there ever a moment when you assumed The Coconut was going to wimp out and fall asleep at the wheel? Could you have hoped for anything but head-split-open urgency from tracks such as Ghost In The Trees? Am I to believe you ever considered for even a nano-second that Poison Finger wasn't going to be your New Favorite Song of 2008?

Despite the former Press Secretary golden boy failing to resign six years ago, washing the blood of over 4000 US soldiers off his hands that much sooner, I can't help but dance the Schadenfreude tango around W and his seething minions. At this point, being tried for war crimes is almost too good for him and his dundering disciples.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is like getting off the burning tail of a dark star; we can only hope our national nightmare is over. Anyway, I'm personally sad that I can no longer refer to McCellan as Puffy McMoon Face. In closing, I love that you can connect the dots between Elisabeth Kubler Ross, Smackdown and REM.