Sunday, November 26, 2006

The Reality Of It All

Due to my hectic career as a renowned creator of hit reality television shows, it sometimes takes me a long while to find time for a posting or two. Currently, I'm working on an offshoot of The Biggest Loser where, instead of overweight Americans resisting the temptation of food, we'll have wasted rockers struggling to avoid the downward spiral of excessive drug addiction. After hurtling gauntlets of managers with platters of pills and groupies offering bowls of coke, contestants will face the weigh-in, where the boniest post-rehab musician gaining the most pounds each week is declared the winner. I'm also developing a reality show for MTV wherein Neu!-influenced indie rockers--desperately attempting to prove their Krautrock credentials--will live together in a locked guarded house, keeping a 4/4 motortik rhythm going for the duration of an entire TV season. I'm placing my bets on Fujiya & Miyagi who, on the basis of Casettesingle and Conductor 71, could probably play this steady beat until Our Savior Jesus comes back to destroy the earth. Lucky for them, using a drum machine is not considered cheating.

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