Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Language: I secretly wish I was Hanzi Smatter, dedicated to documenting the misuse of Chinese characters in Western Culture

Websites: There is only one thing worse than having an Open Web Letter addressed to you, and that is not having an Open Web Letter addressed to you.

Inventions: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car monorail!

Toys: Sure, these "vinyl figures based on Club Gods" are cute and all, but why not create an action-figure blogger while you're at it?

Entertainment: The only thing worse than seeing your picture on Hot Hollywood Assistants is being the Hot Hollywood Assistant to Courtney Love.

Crafts: These deranged stitcheries of Patricia Waller are not the kind of stuffed dolls you can bring home to meet your parents.

Art: Finally, an invention for the lazy anarchist spray painter in all of us.

Fashion: For anyone seeking future stardom on a reality series, Pre-Pixelated T-Shirts.

Fun & Games: Please. I already hate karaoke enough, thank you.

Animation: The Egg Lady is rolling over in her grave.

Antiques: He collects everything, so you don't have to.

DVDs: The what-took-them-so-fucking-long release of The Day I Became A Woman, and the hurry-up-before-I-pee-my-pants reissue of Playtime, are making the world a better place.

Food: I used to think there wasn't anything I couldn't enjoy eating. I was wrong.

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