With Only 39 Years Left to Live, It's Time I Finally Got Around to Digitizing My Cassette & Vinyl Collection [Part 15]

Volumatix - Volume One (12" EP on Republic Recording Corporation, 1982)

Unknown and best-forgotten New Wave act out of Austin, with a legend just obscure enough to make their vinyl sell for obscene amounts on Discogs.  It's worth downloading this 6-song EP for the giggle-inducing opening track alone, whose entire lyrical content unfolds thusly: "What? Who? Huh? Uggghhhh!"  If only someone had a made a campy, poorly-acted, overwrought video to accompany it.  Oh wait, someone already did.

My head is hung in submissive shame as I announce that Disco:Very has now joined the reprehensible Twitter.  Same pithy postings, but now with 80% less content.  Postings will continue apace here at the mothership, but now you can get snarky Tweets for those times when I'm too lazy to link actual music.  Look, if you want this relationship to work, you're going to have to support me on this.  Divorce is not an option.

Sleepy-Time Music for Sleepy-Life People

On the pie chart in my head, snooze-inducing bearded bard Bon Iver is as compelling a listen as swallowing a bottle of Lunesta.  But now that we have to take him seriously after winning the 2012 Grammy for Best New Artist, the obvious questions becomes whether or not his career will mirror that of past New Artist winners?  Out of the professional options below, pick the one he will least likely embark upon:

1. Will become, like The Swingle Singers, the source of a stupefying Trivial Pursuit question.
2. Will go blind, like José Feliciano, from congenital glaucoma but get to enjoy image-enhancing sunglasses with untapped coolness factor.
3. Will give the gift of sperm to a famous lesbian, the same way David Crosby did.
4. Will be profiled in an underground film by Todd Haynes after dying of chemical imbalances associated with anorexia nervosa.
5. Like Milli Vanilli, will be revealed to lip-synching at every performance
6. Like The Beatles, he will become the best-selling artist in history, with estimated sales of over one billion units, influencing countless genres of music the world over.

The correct answer is: g) Bon Iver who?

Twin Peaks (Except One of Them Doesn't Peak at All.) (These Headlines Are So Fun To Write.) (I'm So Very Starved for Your Attention.)

If you decide, like me, you're going to become a slobbering fan of the new-ish combo Taco Leg, you must first understand a most important yet curious fact: there seems to be, amazingly, two bands with the same awesomely hilarious name. (Which is a Butthole Surfers reference, yes?) There is this Taco Leg--they're from Australia, their musically inept (that's a compliment) new single is pictured above on the left, and their primitive/fuck-you-I'm-a-dum-dum anthems are exquisitely pleasurable.  On the other hand, we've got this Taco Leg.  They should be boss, since they're from Austin and although they're not a complete suck-fest...well, um, can you hate a band because their poster art is pukey?  Great, because the Big Brother & the Holding Company-esque image above, right, is reason enough for my eternal scorn.  If you wish to own anything from the Aussie Taco Leg, empty your wallet here.  If you wish to own anything from the Austin Taco Leg, I'm afraid we can't be internet butt buddies anymore.

Acts of (Adorable) Aggression

The hypno-nervous post-punk energy of UK outfit Chapter 24 are enough to scratch the itch you've been missing since Gang of Four reformed and were promptly put to death for the crime of Playing Suck Music in Old Age (of which all reunited bands are guilty). Hooray for us, they're coming to US, though playing two hours north of me on a Wednesday night--an impossible excursion since I work for a living and would be forced to arrive at the office looking uglier than I already am after only 4 hours sleep. Thankfully, I have the band's (charmingly?) uncreative website to tide me over with various videos and Soundcloud audio until I get off my skinny ass and actually buy their awesome debut single. (You can also Stateside it at Aquarius Records.) Their blog also highlights another feature of the group: they look far too polite to be playing music this aggressive.

The Unintentionally Hilarious Press Photos of Bands Playing in My Area in the Near Future [Part 1] [Click Photo to Enlarge the Lulz]

Vag-Tastic!

Am I the only fan of this song who assumed the first line was "Vagina is greater..."?  In my mind, I had assumed this was some pro-Matriarchy right on Feminist treatise.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.