1. I just sent you my address--does this mean I can expect to be stalked?
Only if you want me to. And even then, what's in it for me?
2. The new year began over a week ago--where is my CD already?
Do I come down to your job and insist you cook my Big Mac faster?
3. I'm with the RIAA. You're under arrest.
That's not a question.
4. What songs were left off the CD, and why?
The reasons are as varied as the rejects themselves. Here are a few:
- This track sounds too much like their other songs, only without the pathos.
- This one is even too disco for me.
- Another blogger already picked them as a year-end favorite, and I am a lone wolf.
- They used a flute on a previous song, therefore they must be penalized.
- My fans can only take so many songs in Portuguese in one sitting.
- Sorrowful expressions of ethnic cleansing through song is sooooo 2005.
- She lives six blocks away from me, and I do not pander to friends (again: lone wolf).
- Time constraint, pure and simple (also: ew, she's a widow).
- My fans can only take so many songs recorded on wax cylinder in one sitting.
- Just because it sounds like "Sister Ray" doesn't make it as good as "Sister Ray".
- This resembles Tom Petty a bit too much for comfort.
- When the fey receptionist at my gym doesn't even know this song, this singer's career is dead.