Felon Phun

Rappers. Is there anything they can't do?

The Chinese Democracy Of Rap

Can anyone tell me what the hell ever happened to Q-Tip? His fantastic debut solo album (Amplified) was released in 1999, so what's been taking his time up since then? You can't tell me he's still working on films such as The Visiting. And why does his record label continue to list the still-not-released follow-up Kamaal The Abstract on their website? Is this thing ever going to come out? Until these mysteries are solved, I'm going to curl up into a dark corner and play Vivrant Thing, Wait Up and Breathe And Stop on a permanent loop. Join me, won't you?

All Over Your Face And Stuff

There's no denying it: I'm an easy sell for a Mash-Up that has me cackling like a school girl. Especially if it uses Television's boho pre-punk masterpiece Marquee Moon. But especially if placed alongside the Khia grind and bump hit My Neck, My Back. The unstoppable superstar DJ Certified Bananas has merged the two into Television Is Crack, which made me gleefully skip around the room upon first encountering it last year buried within one of his genius monthly on-line mixes (no longer available except to stream on YouTube). Remember the first time you even heard this Khia classic? After you get over the short shock of such up-front sexuality, you really have to sit back and admire what is essentially a highly-instructional Joy Of Sex chapter to which you can dance.

Radio On The TV

Because I must hit the pillow early each night in a somewhat fruitless attempt to arrive on time to work each morning, I tend to miss a lot of late night talk shows. The upside: I'm not forced to endure Jay Leno. The downside: I miss those rare opportunities to see a few of my current musical heros kicking out the jams (Mmmm...jam). Thanks to the web, this no longer has to be the case. A tip of the mouse to my savior Big Stereo who has posted both a Quicktime video and an audio mp3 of Antony & The Johnsons performing You Are My Sister on The David Letterman Show (and don't call Antony goth or I'll make you eat my clove cigarette). In the interest of Karma (which I don't even believe in), allow me to pay it forward: No sooner had I given you what I believed to be a live recording of "Huddle Formation" by The Go! Team performing live at the 2005 South By Southwest Festival in Austin, TX (which I'd found at NPR) when I discovered that this track was, in fact, not live but a remixed studio recording already offered on a number of the band's various singles and the recent US-only edition of their debut cd. For shame, NPR, for shame. You've made me into a fool in the eyes of the world. As a way of begging your forgiveness, dear readers, here is the truly live recording of the 'Team performing Huddle Formation on ABC-TV's The Jimmy Kimmel Show last Friday, October 21st. If you'd also like to see the streaming video of the performance, click here, but be warned: it's surrounded by an onslaught of beer ads and hemmed in by live clips on all sides from the likes of Shinedown, 3 Doors Down and other bands taking alt-rock liberties with the word down. If this is an indication of Kimmel's taste in music, can I ask why, exactly, Sarah Silverman is sleeping with him?

Deaf Jam

WHAT DID YOU SAY?? HUH??? I DIDN'T HEAR WHAT YOU SAID!!! Sorry to be SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS, but it's the natural reaction to having what's left of my hearing being taken away by The Go! Team performance I caught in Phoenix, AZ last night. My guess was that, on stage, the Jackson 5/cheerleading thing would move to the fore but I was wrong--instead, that vague Sonic Youth skrawl jam that is briefly referenced on their records was FULL-ON BLARING AT MY EARS AT TOP VOLUME ON ALMOST EVERY OTHER SONG!!! Even after enduring 15 years of playing in loud bands, blasting my stereo to its threshold and abusing the volume control on the ol' iPod, how was I to know I had even more hearing left to lose? Thanks to last night's show, a supersonic jet engine has taken up permanent residence inside my eardrums (it's almost 24 hours since their show and my head is still incessantly ringing, ringing, ringing). As for their performance, my one quibble is that lead gal Ninja should drop the audience pandering. We've already paid, we're already fans: no need to keep encouraging us to dance and shout out the choruses. The more you continue this route, you're just shy of becoming Huey Lewis And The News singing "Heart Of Rock and Roll". Otherwise, a dynamic, high-energy set (as this live recording of Huddle Formation taken from NPR can illustrate).

Blessed Are The Noise Makers

If there is a God, does he (or she?) permit us free will? If so, this would be the only proof we have that God begat freeform jazz. Well, make that freeform jazz and Soul Junk, because the two are so very similar in their means and in their ends. Much like their hero Jesus, Soul Junk are aggressively preaching their sermon on the mount to those who might not believe or understand, but unlike our Lord, lead yelper Glen Galaxy is using turntables, samplers and the noise of belching sax squanks. Yes, Soul Junk are Christians, but more than that, they're rappers, but much more than that, they create the most wigged-out, original and uncompromising hip hop this side of Infinite Livez. You actually have to admire a band that forges ahead year after year, despite being too pious for an indie rock audience and too bipolar for a holy audience. Can you imagine how Pat Robertson would react to Ruby Doomsday? My guess is he'd hire an exorcist to rid the recording of its demons (even though this is actually one of the least angular tracks off 1957). If you're itching to step into Galaxy's unique view of heaven and hell--and I highly recommend you do--you might begin your first purchase with the relatively-mellow 1956 and then stab at random from there.

Whitey As You Wanna Be

As a kid growing up in the bland, stripmall hell of the Southwest during the '70's, my first impressions of rap were mixed. My oldest sister was my first big musical influence--whatever she listened to, I listened to. Her tastes ran from the pedestrian (The Beatles, The Turtles, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, Carly Simon, etc) to the more esoteric artists that were staples of the freeform FM radio waves at that time: Frank Zappa, Randy Newman and so on. This might explain why, when I began formulating my own tastes in my teens, I leaned towards the obvious (Queen, Styx, Heart, ELO) and the fringe (Kraftwerk, more Randy Newman). During this time, rap did not enter the equation. So you can imagine why my early opinions of rap were stunted by this myopic viewpoint. Nobody at my school was playing it--the only person I knew actively collecting it was a cousin of mine, but even then I just didn't get it. The shortsighted opinions I had about rap at the time are the same opinions I hear some rap-haters using today: "That's not singing! Where's the melody? Those are just nursery school rhymes set to music!" Anyone born during the 1980's probably never knew of a time when there wasn't rap, but when it emerged during my youth, this just wasn't the case. It was too new, too urban and too outside of our cultural signposts to make any sense. That's why it's such a pleasure to be older and wiser, because now I'm able to dig deep back into the origins of hip hop and discover all these gems I left behind during my formative years. Case in point: Get Up (And Go To School) by Pookey Blow. By today's ears, it's such a cute little record (even Kris Kross wouldn't have attempted something like this), but it also shows how the early leanings of rap were perhaps more wide open than today's standards. I couldn't imagine any of today's rap stars attempting a song about waking up to face the school day. You can find this on the wonderful The Third Unheard: Connecticut Hip Hop, 1979-1983, which is chock full of tracks like this. I suggest you buy it here.

It's The Puppetmastaz, Steppin' Up...

Guess who's back in the studio? The world's best German gangsta rap puppet act, Puppetmastaz (not that there are all that many gangsta rap puppet acts out there to begin with, at least not outside of Germany). For a sneak preview of their latest studio antics, check out their website to see for yourself. Is it just me or does the drummer sound more and more like Snoop Dogg with every release? What with Cookie Monster making exercise videos, it's good to see there are still some puppets out there willing to corrupt the world's youth. I doubt if they'd ever tour the US, but I would drive for days to see them if they did. The new album won't hit stores until August or September 2005, so this little snippet of video hijinx will have to hold me until then. If you're unfamiliar with their flow (however much a puppet can be said to have a flow), you can find all their releases (including some great remix singles) at Gemm.com.