Disco:Very: Good morning, I hope International Record Store Day was able to keep your store afloat for a few more years.
Store Clerk: [Taken aback.] Uh, yeah, well, we had a good day.
Disco:Very: Good to hear, good to hear. I just learned about a specific item which was made for sale on American Record Store Day and I wanted to see if you got any in.
Store Clerk: [Pause.] OK.
Disco:Very: Well you know what The Buddha Machine is, that little iPod-looking thing which plays calming New Age sounds on a perpetual loop?
Store Clerk: Sure, yeah. We have some of those in stock.
Disco:Very: Well, I just heard that there was a special one made in celebration of National Record Store Day which only plays loops of the band Train specifically, that one hit "Hey, Soul Sister", and it's not a loop of the whole song, it's a loop of the part where he sings "Hey, hee-e-e-ey..."
Store Clerk: [Realzing this is a prank, annoyed] Yes, yes, I know the song
Disco:Very: --but it's not the "Hey" at the beginning or on the final chorus, it's specifically the "Hey" sung at the 1:11 mark. Renowned music experts have determined that "Hey" to be quite different from all the rest. So it's just a loop of that one "Hey".
Store Clerk: [Long pause.]
Disco:Very: Also, this Buddha Machine is wrinkled and old, with dyed black hair so it matches the lead singer of Train. So do you have any of these in?
Store Clerk: [Pause; hangs up.]
2 comments:
Haha. That's pretty funny.
See, a lesser person would have taken it too far and just planted a bomb demanding the delivery of said Buddha Machine to a specified location. But no, you knew exactly when to pull out and exit with grace. Great. Good.
Way to pee on the RSD parade! Yes, there was a parade on Record Store Day. They didn't invite you, because they knew you would try to pee on them.
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