Suffer the Little Children, and Forbid Them to Purchase The Joshua Tree, for It Blows Big Time and Is Crap

The Good News: Today, America swears in a new President and ushers in a spirited era of hope and national unity.
The Bad News: TV news stations force us to listen to (Pride) In the Name of Love over and over before each commercial break.

The Songs I Heard While Waiting to See the Dentist and the Painful Dental Procedure They Most Resemble

Song: Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart)
Painful Dental Procedure: Extraction of wisdom teeth

Song: It's Still Rock & Roll to Me (Billy Joel)
Painful Dental Procedure: Root canal

Song: Our House (Madness)
Painful Dental Procedure: Dental crowns

Song: I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues (Elton John)
Painful Dental Procedure: Gum surgery

Song: Evil Ways (Santana)
Painful Dental Procedure: Getting braces tightened

Song: Love Will Find a Way (Pablo Cruise)
Painful Dental Procedure: Death from anesthesia

Noise Annoys (But I Like It, I Like It, Yes I Do).

The best thing about the post-punk buzz-thump of Eddy Current Suppression Ring is that it never seems to end. Each riff is stretched and pulled into a sonic taffy which sticks to your teeth and lungs, very much the same way real taffy does. I Admit My Faults has that visceral tension of early Fugazi without the show-off time signatures and, unlike that boney band, this one keeps their shirts on. Colour Television begins with a careful tiptoe around your ears before pouncing on your head like a rabid pigeon with something to prove. Which Way to Go surrounds itself in a 1977 punk/drone Saints-squall and...pretty much stays there for 3 minutes. In the private universe over which I rule, that's a compliment of the highest order. Don't let their US distribution on Goner Records fool you: this isn't the garage rock of your youth. This music is too urgent for that tepid label: the band has already climbed into the car and squealed out onto the open road without lifting the garage door first.

Freedom Isn't Free (Neither Is Our Blogger/Reader Relationship)

This is the time of year when I offer all fans of Disco:Very a free copy of my annual 2-CD compilation containing the songs I listened to the most throughout the last 12 months.

However, because this blog doesn't actually have any fans, I'll extend the offer to you instead.

The rules are simple: send your name (real or fake) and address to the e-mail listed in the column at right, and within a week or two, you'll find a package in the mail containing 2 CD's of music. There is no fee for this annual document--you have paid the price already by enduring me and my snide remarks as I taunted your taste in music throughout the past year.

As an added bonus, there is now a game you can play at home when your discs arrive. Simply print up your copy of Disco:Very 2008 Bingo, cut it out and play along as the discs unspool on your stereo. You'll get hours of amusement ticking off all the characteristics of this year's music, long after you have come to the realization that the 2008 compilation is nearly identical in structure to the last one and the one before that and the one before that.

Happy New Year's, suckers!